We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
