last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
