after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
