Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
What drink are we having for lunch?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
We're too hungover to prance.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
