Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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