it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
