Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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