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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
