from now on my penis is your penis
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
