You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
