I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
