Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
