you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Randomize
