Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
