I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
