She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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