how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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