8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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