fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Randomize
