i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
