Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
