Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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