So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
