And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
