he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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