He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
It's Friday. Sex?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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