There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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