Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
