Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
