their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
