google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
handjob tips. give me some.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
lol hangovers are for mortals.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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