There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
