Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
