walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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