I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My vagina is very pro this idea
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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