Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
