so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
