do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Do vagina's smell?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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