I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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