one two three fourrrrnication!
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Randomize
