a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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