JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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