idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
