Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
She needs sedatives and a leash
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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