i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
