i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Let's get the cat blown out
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
