You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
