paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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