Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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