Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
