Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
