I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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